With Fifty Shades the Movie opening at cinemas in time for Valentine’s Day, one might be tempted to think it’s now okay for a man to physically restrain a woman and have his way with her any way he chooses, and that there’s something wrong with the woman if she doesn’t enjoy it. So let me begin on a cautionary note and say to all the men out there who might be thinking along these lines, I suggest you discuss the matter first very carefully with your lady, because she may not share your views. Bondage and sadomasochism are among the darker paths in human relations; the psychology is complex, arguably pathological but, in simpler terms, the emotions it arouses, while reportedly powerful, are not to be confused with love.
Let me pause for breath here and say I have not read Fifty Shades, nor will I be taking the good Lady Graeme to watch the movie. I have, however, read the Story of O, the 1955 novel by Pauline Reage, and from which all semi-pornographic bondage bonk-busters are derived.
It tells the tale of a young woman, known to us simply as “O”, a lovely ingénue who is drawn by her posh boyfriend into a secret circle of wealthy men whose sadomasochistic mores see O reduced to the status of a mere possession. O is at first horrified to find herself abducted, then inducted into all manner of degrading sexual practice, punctuated by frequent whippings, as anything resembling an independence of spirit is beaten out of her. The story persuades us she eventually sees the light, becomes a submissive chattel, and begins to take pleasure, indeed to see the very meaning of her life in sexually compliant slavery and regular whippings. The power of the story, and I did find it a powerfully compelling read, is that Reage achieves all of this without the use of a single naughty word. (would-be erotic authors take note)
The story of O is not pornography, in the same way Lawrence’s Lady Chatterly is not pornography, though both these works were ground-breaking in their time to the extent of finding themselves in the courts on charges of obscenity. Of the two, in my opinion, Lady Chatterly is easily the more literary, though O, winner of the French Prix de Deux Magots, cannot be dismissed as mere smut.
The paradox of O is the depiction of a woman sexually liberated by masculine domination, a liberation that can only come through her willingness to submit to anything her master(s) desire, and to revel in their punishments. The men are depicted as unrelentingly repulsive, and the women, including O, I’m afraid, as impenetrably dim. The men take the women however and whenever they choose, they remodel the shape of them to better suit their idea of a sexually desirable object, then brand their bottoms with a mark of ownership when the women “graduate” as fully fledged chattels.
When O meets an ordinary Joe who falls embarrassingly in love with her, she is incapable of responding in the normal way, and her dismissive treatment of him highlights the dramatic change that has been wrought in this former ingénue by her new lifestyle. The suggestion is that she now operates at a higher level of her being, emotionally and sexually, and that an ordinary man, one who would treat her kindly, is too tame and incapable of handling or even arousing the passions she is now familiar with. All this thanks to the wealthy male predators who own her.
But all of this is fantasy, and Reage doesn’t shy away from hitting you over the head with the darker implications of the endgame of any relationship built on such murky foundations. In short, the story of O does not end well. It’s a tale that can be read in many ways, but if you’re only in it for the titillation you’re seriously missing out. I found it rather a cautionary tale, for when the men tire of O, as all possessions are eventually tired of, she is unable to contemplate a return to the banality of her former life as a free woman and a human being, and the suggestion is that in one version of the ending, her then master, in a last act of gross masochism, grants her the wish that she be relieved of the necessity.
Any sufficiently sensitive man reading the Story of O cannot help but examine his own self for traces of the abominable chauvinism Reage depicts, and question any culture, closed or open, that would reduce its women to the status of objects, sexual or otherwise.
I have at times been in the company of men whose vulgar talk regarding the opposite sex has left me in no doubt as to their primitive attitudes. Whether they also share these views with their wives is anyone’s guess, but – and I speak as a man here – there is definitely a tendency in men that would sooner simplify women to the status of compliant sexual vessels, without the inconvenience of having to treat them as fellow human beings, with thoughts and fears and feelings. But again we must remind ourselves it is a fantasy, one we should take care not to let out of the box for too long, nor take too seriously, because, to paraphrase Alice, Nicole Kidman’s character, at the end of Stanley Kubrics “Eyes wide shut” the best we can hope, where sexual fantasies are concerned, is that we survive them.
Sex of course is one of life’s great pleasures, but by far the more valuable is the companionship of another human being whom you love and respect, and whose mere presence makes you feel bigger than you do when you are alone. I don’t want to pour scorn upon Fifty Shades the movie – there’ll be plenty of people doing that no doubt, as they did with the books – but I cannot help feeling a sneaking admiration for its author, a fellow indie, and a rare example of our breed who made good, made the crossover to the big time. So do read the books and go to the cinema and revel in the fantasy, if you think it might be your bag, but don’t lose sight of what’s real in human relations; remember it’s rather the exception to make love using ropes and whips and sticky tape, than the rule. So guys, don’t make your girl do what she’s not naturally inclined to do. That she wants to be with you at all is a prize in itself, so don’t push your luck.
Fifty Shades does not pretend to be literature, but if you want to take a more literary view of the erotic you could try the story of O. But be warned, like O, you may get more than you bargained for.
You write so eloquently about a very hot topic (in more ways than one). One thing that has surprised me in America is that the feminist community has been largely silent about the film. How is this playing out on your side of the pond? And what do you make of it?
Hi Tony,
I’m finding the Fifty Shades thing is rather popular among women here, that it’s the guys who are pouring scorn upon it. There’s a good review of the film by blogger Lisa Thatcher who I follow here: http://lisathatcher.com/2015/02/15/fifty-shades-of-grey-a-fan-film-for-females-crazy-like-that-film-review/. Lisa is suggesting that actually very intelligent women enjoy erotic fantasy, and I’m wondering if there’s something in the female psyche that enables them to “get” it better than the guys. It’s odd. I’ve not read the books, and probably won’t go to see the movie, but as a social phenomenon it’s hard to miss – very interesting. Glad I’m getting older – sex is too confusing in the flesh. Safer just to write about it – as tastefully as possible of course.
Regards
Michael
I don’t speak French. Does “Prix de Magots” mean what I think it means?
All these years of academic feminism, and countless women still find rubbish like “50 Shades” appealing. You should see the amazon.com 4 and 5-star customer reviews: I found them very, very hard to believe.
My French is rudimentary, Lee, but I think magots translates literally as a small treasure or something like that. The deux magots is a cafe on the West Bank, traditionally frequented by literary types, and probably refers to a pair of oriental statues that hang on the wall there. I too am puzzled by the 50 shades wide appeal among women, but it seems to be a real phenomenon.
This could turn out to be the biggest chick flick in many years–and I’ll be hanged if I know why.
I think for the ladies, the male lead may have something to do with it. Jamie Dornan also recently starred alongside Gillian Anderson in a BBC drama here called The Fall where he played a stunningly magnetic serial-lady-killer. I’m a Gillian Anderson fan, since the X Files days, and glad to see her finding some serious mature roles on British TV now, but I also enjoyed Dornan’s performance, and can see why he was chosen for the lead in 50 shades.
I tried watching “The Fall,” but decided not to stay with it. If young women are to be murdered, let them at least be murdered offstage.