Little Miss Muffet went to her tuffet,
But there she saw sitting Jack Horner,
So she said to Jack, Oy, that’s my comfy sack,
You go and sit in the corner!
Well, off stomped Jack Horner, to his usual corner,
Where he picked up a mouldy pork pie,
Then took aim at Miss Muffet, all prim on her tuffet,
And grumpy old Jack let it fly.
But Miss Muffet she ducked, at the pie that Jack chucked.
And that pie, o’er the living room sped.
It crashed into the wall, flew right down the hall,
And bounced off poor Humpty Dump’s head.
Well, Humpty looked glum and said, listen here chum,
You’re starting to get on my nerves,
Said, Jack leave it out, you great egg shaped sprout,
The blame in this case is all hers!
Now Humpty was cross, and quite at a loss,
And into a temper he flew,
So he squared up to Jack and said you take that back,
Or I’ll tell my dad over you.
Said Miss Muffet, now boys, please turn down the noise,
I’m trying to watch the telly,
But Jack didn’t care, he was mad as a hare,
And hurled at poor Humpty his Welly.
Well, Humpty he ran, as fast as eggs can,
And he made his escape through the door,
Then he scaled up a wall, but from there he did fall,
And broke into bits on the floor.
The Kings horses arrived and the men side by side,
And the Captain said what can we do?
Moaned Humpty, all lame, that Jack Horner’s to blame,
Now quick go and fetch me some glue.
So, with Humpty all mended, the panic was ended,
And the Captain he gathered his men,
Then they burst through the door and they searched high and low,
But Jack Horner was not seen again.
There was just our Miss Muffet, curled up on her tuffet,
Quite vexed at the hullabaloo,
When down came that spider, and sat down beside her,
So she flattened it with her shoe.
_____________
With apologies
The Rivendale Review 
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